Preslee's 1st Birthday Party

Preslee's 1st birthday party was on Saturday, December 3rd. It was ALOT of fun. Preslee and I left home and went and picked up balloons, her cake, and then stopped and got a drink and went over to Marisa's Dad's. We got there early to set up and clean up. Her Dad had already cleaned, thank you Jim!

We got everything set up! Letters on her Happy Birthday banner, balloons tied up, table cloth on, duckies set out, plates/napkins/plastic wear set out, highchair set up, presents situated... Then we waited for the party!  Everything seemed and was so perfect for her birthday. She had a great time playing and walking and everyone made it. Dana got there to take pictures and we can't wait to see the pictures from the party! Once I get them I will upload some pictures to show you the fun that we had!

Her cake was amazing. 3 tiered with black, pink, and silver. Top was a cupcake (for her) and the rest was just YUMMY! It had her named spelled out on it on the 2nd tier. So cute! We had pizza and pop for everyone!

She got lots of gifts and lots of clothes (which we needed since she pretty much skipped the 12 month size). It took me a day to get everything organized, situated, and then I had the dreadful time of going through all her smaller clothes and packing them away! Yes, I cried like a baby as I packed away some of her smaller things. I cried for over an hour as I sorted her closet to make more room. It was just emotional that my little baby was now 1 and that I needed to "get rid of" some of her things. I didn't get rid of the PRECIOUS stuff and the FIRST TIME things or HOLIDAY outfits just 'some' stuff.

But now we have a happy, healthy, vibrant one year old now fulling walking around the house. It's so cute to see my little independent girl. She likes to walk, completely feed herself, and do many things on her own. Makes this momma sad but happy at the same time.

Once I get the pictures I will upload them... But for now PRESLEE'S PARTY WAS GREAT AND I COULDN'T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER 1ST BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Preslee's 1st Birthday

Well today my baby girl turned ONE.
Can you believe it? ONE? Wow...I can't believe this year has flown by like it has!
She's growing up too fast. I wish I could keep her at this age a little bit longer!

She got up and we got her ready for daycare today in her fabric tutu, onesie, and bow outfit that we ordered from Remington's RadDesigns. She looked so stinken cute when I took her to daycare. We woke Daddy up so he could tell her "Happy Birthday" and then we headed off to daycare. I took some chocolate covered honey buns for the teachers to cut up and give to the kiddos for her birthday snack. I figured cupcakes would be too much for a bunch of little ones.

Tonight after work I'm going to go to the store and get her some Cotton Candy ice cream (she loved it the other night) and after dinner we are going to have a strawberry (like cupcake) roll with cream filling and some cotton candy ice cream for her birthday.

Her birthday party is Saturday and we can not wait to celebrate Miss Preslee turning ONE!

Here are a few pictures from this morning as we were getting ready and heading to daycare...

Here are a few sneak peaks of her 1st birthday pictures done by Stilling The Moment Photography (Dana)...

Thankful...

So as Thanksgiving falls upon us there is several things in life to be thankful for...
So here is my "thank you" list...

My husband - Thankful for my husband and the way he provides for the family. He makes ends meet and we don't have to worry about how things will come. He does little things that makes big differences (ie. cleaning the yard, writing a short note, moving something). I love this man!

Anastacia - Thankful for this girl. She brought the first meaning of real, true, passionate love to me 5 1/2 years ago. She made me a better person and want to better myself to help her through life and give her the best I can.

Triton - This little guy was miracle. When he was born he umbilical cord was in a true, solid knot. Doctor said she had delievered 2 other babies this way and they died before or during the birthing process. His umbilical cord was also wrapped around his neck a couple times. After he was born the doctor said he was a "miracle baby." With his birth it made me a stronger person. A person that now had 2 children to pour her love into and also 2 children to take care of on her own.

Skylar - My angel with wings. With the pregnancy she brought so many happy emotions, so many happy thoughts, so many wanted memories that I wanted to make. Then the world crashed around me and she was gone. She made me very strong. She made me the person I am now. The person that has gone through so much, for so long, and still holding it together. She gave me hope that I would have another baby and I would be ok. She brought Albert & I closer together and she showed me a side of me that I was not used to seeing - sensitive and not in control. I'm thankful for the 17 weeks of time that I had with her in my tummy. Those 17 weeks are unforgetable.

Preslee - My little angel on this earth. After Skylar we quickly got pregnant (not meaning to) - within a month. To me this meant she was meant to be here with us today! The pregnancy with her made me every so thankful for the true meaning of life. So people take for granted a pregnancy - me I thanked God everyday for that pregnancy. She has brought so much happiness into our family. She is our miracle/angel on earth from God. I wouldn't know what to do without her.

Mom - The woman that gave me life and brought me here. We have been through a lot of things together. We have had our ups and downs, are talking/not talking times, and the best a friendship. I love my Mom!

Nana - This is the lady that raised me. She made me a lot of who I am today. Though I've had many ups and downs with her I wouldn't trade her for the world.

I'm thankful for everyone else also. My brothers are another one that I can't miss. They have done things that I've needed, been there when I needed, and listened when I needed. I have aunts and uncles I'm thankful for. I have many friends that I'm thankful for and wouldn't know what to do without them.

THANK you to everyone for the support, love, and friendship that you all have shown me. Without you I wouldn't be who I am and wouldn't have the life that I have today!

Halloween to Thanksgiving and Everything In Between...

Halloween has come and gone for another year. Kids had fun with their costumes. Anastacia was a flapper, Triton was Spiderman, and Preslee was a lamb.

Anastacia went to a carnival at church in Tulsa with Nana so she wore hers an extra time but Preslee wore hers to daycare for her party one day...Then Anastacia and Triton wore their costumes to school and daycare and then that night for Trick or Treating...



Picture Day...

Saturday, October 15th we had a picture day with my friend Dana. I needed some pictures of all the kids together. Unfortunately we weren't able to get Baylee for these pictures (will try again soon). Here is a few of the pictures...

Who Would Have Thought...

I sit here today, at work, in a state of heartache for the families having to endure the loss of a baby...

I have always had this heavy feeling since we lost our precious Skylar on 01/27/10, I'm more just to myself and I will deal and allow you to know when I need some reinforcement and uplifting. I'm a very strong woman (if I do say so myself) but sometimes I need that extra push and love from others... But last night one of the ladies that I have bought ALL of Preslee's embroided onesies, tutus, and bows from posted a blog. In this blog the husband & wife are announcing they are pregnant again and that their baby (in Heaven) is going to be a big sister.

Such excitement...
Such joy...
Such happiness...
Such bliss...

These are the emotions of pregnancy - for a first time mom or a mom that hasn't lost a child.

Such fear...
Such anxiety...
Such worry...
Such a battle within yourself...

These are some of the emotions of a mother/father that has lost a baby. Yes these mothers also feel the happiness, excitement, joy, and bliss but this pregnancy carries so much more for them. Believe me - I have been there!

So, I watched a picture slideshow this couple had posted of their baby. I watched as they announced on their blog they are pregnant again. I seen the words on the blog "A journey in finding the new normal after the loss of our princess." At this point I'm not sure what has happened to their princess, but at that point I want to know more.

I come to work today and I go to the blog and I go back to where is shows a post titled "A Princess Goes To Heaven" (7 months back) and I start reading, I read every blog she wrote. Her sweet baby was 4 months old and passed from SIDS. She was in the care of a babysitter and asleep and the babysitter went to check on her and she was blue and not breathing. This parent got a call at her job informing her of this and rushing to the hospital she is hit with words that will never leave her... Your baby did not make it.

At that moment... What do you think she felt? Her world just crashed down around her, her beautiful baby which they longed for is no longer with her, and her life just shattered. She says in the blog they went home and when they got there all of their baby's things were still all over the house as they had left them before they went to work, before this baby went to the babysitter. This mother didn't know that when she dropped this precious baby off that would be the last time she would see her child breathing and alive. She didn't know what this day would consist of. I'm sure her plan was go to work and get off and pick up her baby. But the worst possible situation happened and this baby grew her angel wings and went home to Heaven.

As I read each one of her blog entries and I can see the anger, the hurt, the grief, the pain, the sadness, the pure confusion. The blog takes you through her picking clothes for baby's funeral, funeral arrangements, signing papers at the funeral home... These are all things Albert & I had to do. This hit home. Yes, Skylar was only 17 weeks gestation but she was our baby girl.

So as I read today this hurt and pain came back to me...Questions came flooding in...Life hit home!

Why did we have to lose our baby?
Why did God take Skylar from us?
Why did we have to make funeral arrangements for our baby?
Why did we have to go and buy clothes for our baby to wear as we watched her be put in the ground?
Why did we have to pick out those clothes to wear that day?
Why did we have to pick out music to be played at her funeral?
Why? Why? Why?

We don't know the exact answer as to why. What we do know is that God needed our angel Skylar. He blessed us with being the parents of her while she was in my stomach. His blessed us with having the joy of the pregnancy up to the day we lost her.

As we made it though Skylar's funeral and we talked and decided that we wanted to wait. We wasn't ready for another baby right now. We made that decision together. Everything was scheduled for me to go back to my OB/GYN and get my IUD put back in place until the timing was right for us. Little did we know that in this process we had already concieved.

Our sweet angel Skylar left us 01/27/10
Skylar's Funeral was 02/01/10
Preslee was concieved 03/02/10 (which we didn't know until later)
Day I realized my period should have started already 03/30/10
Pregnancy test taken 03/30/10 - positive!
My appointment to have IUD put back in 03/31/10

We never made it to that IUD appointment, instead I had to call the office and let them know. We were scared. I was scared. I was a mess. Yes I was SO happy, so excited, so full of joy but at the same time so scared, so afraid, and so nervous. I wanted this baby so bad. I wanted this pregnancy to go smoothly...

Thank the lord it did and we now have our angel Preslee...

This is the shirt we had made for Preslee in rememberance of her big sister, Skylar.

The back of this shirt says Skylar inside a heart with angel wings...

Labor Day Camping...

We decided on Labor Day weekend to go camping down at New Mannford Ramp. It was Albert, Triton, Preslee, and I. Anastacia was in Tulsa with Nana for the weekend. We had a great time relaxing, swimming, playing, and hanging out.

Here are a few pictures of some of the things we did while we were down there...

The 4 of us swimming in Lake Keystone at New Mannford Ramp on Saturday the 3rd

Preslee and I in Lake Keystone at New Mannford Ramp on Saturday the 3rd

After swimming we went back to the trailer and Preslee was playing in the floor in the trailer while I was starting dinner. Such a sweet little girl...

Sunday the 4th we went to play at the playground there in the campgrounds...Preslee on the playground equipment...

We buried Uncle Tommy in the gravel and so we thought we would set Preslee in it and bury her legs and feet and...well...as you can see she didn't like it very well...

Daddy to the rescue...He took her out of the gravel and she was content...

Sunday we had Tommy, Dara, Colt, and Gina all down there and we were getting ready to grill and it was getting chilly. Little Preslee didn't have any winter or even longer clothes so us girls ran up to the store and got her a few things and this zebra outfit is one of them. I love this picture...

We did have a great time at the lake and even though it is just a few miles away from home it is still nice to get away and have a little fun. This was Preslee's first camping trip and the first one we have taken since the wedding on 05/01/10.

Saturday night we got all setup and situated and Gina and her boyfriend, Josh, came down. Gina came first while we went swimming and took the pictures of us swimming and then Josh showed up later and we grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and had macaroni salad and just hung out. They stayed really late. Sunday we got up and Albert cooked bacon and eggs outside on the grill using a cast iron skillet and I made fried taters in the trailer and then Tommy, Dara, and Colt came down and we all went swimming and then we went back to the trailer and changed and we went up to the playground and let the kids and us big kids play. After that we came back and Dara and I ran to the grocery store to grab a few more things to cook and back we came. Gina came down and we grilled steaks and hamburgers and I made fried taters in the trailer again. Tommy, Dara, and Colt left and we got all settled in and went to bed. Monday we got up and got around and we went home. Monday evening we had a cookout at Nana's house so we had hamburgers and smoked sausage along with potato salad. It was a good weekend all and all...