The Sadness...

My husband got home from work early on 10/26 around 4am...I just couldn't fall back asleep. At this point in the pregnancy I am having a hard time going back to sleep and just sleeping period. Well I was tossing and turning trying to get comfortable and it just wasn't happening. I finally rolled over and I was facing the nightstand in our room that has our alarm clock and also where I set my phone and my bottled water at. Our clock (just for a descriptive purpose) has a teal colored display (the numbers) and so when I rolled over the way my pillow was it looked like a nightlight glowing (simple, right? No...)

Well as I was laying there thoughts started running through my head...When I thought nightlight I remember going into the funeral home to make the arrangements for Skylar's funeral and when the funeral director was telling us that baby Skylar had been brought to the funeral home that day already. He said that night he would make sure and leave a nightlight on for her so it wouldn't be dark. So, wow, it hit me...AGAIN...my baby is gone. I should be holding a 3 1/2 month old baby at this point. From that point my mind just wandered...It went from the nightlight thing to the pictures that were flashing through my head from right after her birth up until the funeral and we sealed the casket.

My precious angel is Heaven and she is safe and sound but I would really love to have her here! She was so tiny, so fragile, and so beautiful...She was perfect...The perfect fingernails that you could see, the fingers, the toes, the feet, the hands, the face, the everything was beautiful and I miss her so much...