Well Albert and I's first wedding anniversary is just right around the corner. It is May 1st and I am actually getting really excited about it. Yes I'm excited because it's our 1 year wedding anniversary but I'm also excited how things are panning out.
We had discussed going out of town to Kansas or Texas or somewhere like that. I looked and found some things but we both couldn't agree on it. So then we got to discussing that we are only going to get the Saturday into Sunday night because Albert works Friday nights and it rolls into Saturday morning. So if we were to go out of state he would be tired etc when we got there and it would take alot of our time for driving time. So.........We decided to stay local. There is a bed and breakfast not far from us here in Mannford. We have decided to go there and we booked the room for that night also. Another good part is our anniversary is on the weekend so we will actually be celebrating on our anniversary. So with the room being book I'm excited. Like it is all falling into place and more "real." The room is called the Serenity Suite and it is downstairs and it has a nice setup and it also has the big whirpool tub for two. A screened in, secluded porch over looking the big pond and the garden area. There is also the outside hot tub not far away. Super excited. Here is the website http://www.serenitylake.com/.
So last night I was also looking for a gift for Albert for our anniversary and I found two things that I am trying to decide between. I won't discuss it here in case he decides to read this! So anyways just have to figure out which one I like the best! Then I also asked the local bakery in town (where I get alot of our cakes at) if she could make a cake somewhat resembling our wedding rings. She messaged me back and said that she could do a single layer cake with a picture or something resembling our wedding rings and it would only be $7. How amazing? Yes we are still going to eat our wedding cake like tradition says but you know it's just a taste after being frozen for 1 year. So that makes me super excited also. So with all of this I am excited. Albert also talked to his Mom and she is going to try and take off work that weekend so she can keep the kids. We can check into our room at 3p and then check out is at noon the next day and then when we finish checking out we are going to go riding 4 wheelers to finish off the weekend. So fun!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
The Last Few Days...
Well this week started out with me going to the Nuerologist on Monday morning for a one month checkup on my seizure medication and also suppose to get the results from my EEG which was done at the hospital last Thursday. Let me tell you that appointment lastest FOREVER. My appointment was at 9am and I didn't even get called back until 1010a. So it was 11a before I got back to work! BLAH. Anyways Dr. Wade had not received my EEG results from Hillcrest so I didn't get those he said he would have to call me with the results. He did up my medication to the 200mg per day (which is the dosage we were working up to). Now I take one pill with breakfast and one with dinner. Everything is going fine with that.
Tuesday came and work was long and I had decided to go back to the MEND group. First meeting since Preslee was born in November. I have missed the group and also talking with everyone. It was a very emotionally packed night. There have been ups and downs like always but now having Preslee makes things a bit stronger so to say. I talked about this the other night also about wondering how she would be, what she would be doing, etc. We discussed this in the MEND group. Also we discussed not going to the cemetary to visit with Skylar. Yes it is ok it is just heart wrenching to me right now! Also talked with another lady in the MEND about how after getting pregnant after the loss will not make you forget about the loss and your baby. I told her in talking alone outside before leaving that some days it helped me because I was able to focus all my energy on this growing life inside me. Some days I was so sad because I would think that 'at this point Skylar should have been here.' Some days are alot harder than others. The last few has brought back lots of memories and 'wonders' as to what would be here if she would have made it. Though I thank God everyday for the beautiful baby he did bless us with, Preslee. She is my ray of sunshine when all else around me seems to be crashing in those dark days.
Then comes Wednesday...Work was so busy and overwhelming. I can't seem to find this easy ground and can't find enough hours to get this work done! It just is NOT possible. The boss wants this, this, and this done and doesn't understand what other stuff I do. Though he has been told. It's just a boss for you, right? Still don't like it. So today I am advised that the 3 days I am in Cushing HH I need to be doing my insurance verification for new patients, getting auths, follow-up on the claims already billed, billing, patient billing, cash posting (this is my daily job) and then on top of this add 4 reports that he wants done by next week (that gives me 4 days to get this done). Then when I work in Tulsa HH I do data entry for the first half of the day and then billing assistance for 2nd half. Ok seems easy, right? No! While I'm there I should be doing data entry (which they are behind on because of the load of patients) and 2nd half I needed to be working on all the insurance letters that have come in and working 2 reports down there in 2 days. Is it possible, sure, if I was working 5 days a week and 5 nights a week I am sure I could get it done. So leaving work today I was so tired and stressed. Just like my husband, my best friend, and a co-worker in Cushing told me - Ashlee you are only one person! Just do what you can! - That sounds so good but then in the back of my mind you wonder if I don't get all this completed that my CFO is requesting be done if things won't get, for lack of better word, worse and him get pissy.
Then on top of this week Sunday night Preslee started getting a cough and runny nose. Well over the last few days it has just worsened. Last night her cough was horrible sounding. She woke me up about 330a this morning coughing in her sleep so I sat her up for a bit and then made her a warm bottle to help. She ended up going back to sleep. She was still sick when she woke up this morning but the sweet baby is always smiles.
She went to daycare this morning running a low grade fever (which she has since Sunday night). Got her home and they said she wouldn't eat much at daycare, she was very cranky so I laid her on our bed, gave her some Tylenol, and made her a warm bottle and she was out.
That was 630ish and she is still sleeping. The poor girl is sick. I am not going to get to work tomorrow but I will be taking her to the doctor, along with Anastacia. She has been sick also running a higher fever closer to 103 and throwing up. So tomorrow will be doctor's appointments to get these kiddos feeling better. Preslee has been kind of scratching at her ear so I am hoping she doesn't have an ear infection.
So far this week has just been full of lots of stuff. Also Triton and Albert went and had there hair cut today. So cute!
Tuesday came and work was long and I had decided to go back to the MEND group. First meeting since Preslee was born in November. I have missed the group and also talking with everyone. It was a very emotionally packed night. There have been ups and downs like always but now having Preslee makes things a bit stronger so to say. I talked about this the other night also about wondering how she would be, what she would be doing, etc. We discussed this in the MEND group. Also we discussed not going to the cemetary to visit with Skylar. Yes it is ok it is just heart wrenching to me right now! Also talked with another lady in the MEND about how after getting pregnant after the loss will not make you forget about the loss and your baby. I told her in talking alone outside before leaving that some days it helped me because I was able to focus all my energy on this growing life inside me. Some days I was so sad because I would think that 'at this point Skylar should have been here.' Some days are alot harder than others. The last few has brought back lots of memories and 'wonders' as to what would be here if she would have made it. Though I thank God everyday for the beautiful baby he did bless us with, Preslee. She is my ray of sunshine when all else around me seems to be crashing in those dark days.
Then comes Wednesday...Work was so busy and overwhelming. I can't seem to find this easy ground and can't find enough hours to get this work done! It just is NOT possible. The boss wants this, this, and this done and doesn't understand what other stuff I do. Though he has been told. It's just a boss for you, right? Still don't like it. So today I am advised that the 3 days I am in Cushing HH I need to be doing my insurance verification for new patients, getting auths, follow-up on the claims already billed, billing, patient billing, cash posting (this is my daily job) and then on top of this add 4 reports that he wants done by next week (that gives me 4 days to get this done). Then when I work in Tulsa HH I do data entry for the first half of the day and then billing assistance for 2nd half. Ok seems easy, right? No! While I'm there I should be doing data entry (which they are behind on because of the load of patients) and 2nd half I needed to be working on all the insurance letters that have come in and working 2 reports down there in 2 days. Is it possible, sure, if I was working 5 days a week and 5 nights a week I am sure I could get it done. So leaving work today I was so tired and stressed. Just like my husband, my best friend, and a co-worker in Cushing told me - Ashlee you are only one person! Just do what you can! - That sounds so good but then in the back of my mind you wonder if I don't get all this completed that my CFO is requesting be done if things won't get, for lack of better word, worse and him get pissy.
Then on top of this week Sunday night Preslee started getting a cough and runny nose. Well over the last few days it has just worsened. Last night her cough was horrible sounding. She woke me up about 330a this morning coughing in her sleep so I sat her up for a bit and then made her a warm bottle to help. She ended up going back to sleep. She was still sick when she woke up this morning but the sweet baby is always smiles.
She went to daycare this morning running a low grade fever (which she has since Sunday night). Got her home and they said she wouldn't eat much at daycare, she was very cranky so I laid her on our bed, gave her some Tylenol, and made her a warm bottle and she was out.
That was 630ish and she is still sleeping. The poor girl is sick. I am not going to get to work tomorrow but I will be taking her to the doctor, along with Anastacia. She has been sick also running a higher fever closer to 103 and throwing up. So tomorrow will be doctor's appointments to get these kiddos feeling better. Preslee has been kind of scratching at her ear so I am hoping she doesn't have an ear infection.
So far this week has just been full of lots of stuff. Also Triton and Albert went and had there hair cut today. So cute!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Days...
Lately I have had a hard time with life (for lack of better words)...
A hard time trying to figure out how to manage it all and make it all work as I want it...
I've come to the point that I just want to give up because it seems so much easier...
The easy way out! But honestly that's not what I want. I feel like everything is fighting against me and everything is killing me inside currently.
Well...My kiddos are great.
Anastacia is doing great! She is in school and all is doing good.
Triton is also doing well. He will be 4 in June and we are starting to plan his birthday party. We are going to do it down at New Mannford Ramp (where we got married) and have a jupiter jump thing and just have fun. It will be alot of fun and I can participate in the fun times this go around.
Preslee is doing great also. She is getting so big. She is 3 1/2 months old and we are getting ready to schedule her 4 month shots and checkup. We are also planning to have her 3 month pictures taken here this weekend. I'm super excited because I am wanting to some "fun" things with the pictures. A boa, the pink roses from the wedding, the pink basket from the wedding and her pink giraffe toy...There are just some fun/cute pictures I want to do.
Then I miss my sweet baby, Skylar. I do look at Preslee and I think "gosh what would Skylar be like at this point. She would have been 14 months old." What would she look like? Would she look like Preslee and look like her Daddy? Would she look like me? Would she be walking/talking? All those little things that some people take for granted. People may think that I'm crazy but I try and spend as much time with my little angel as I can. No one realizes the loss of a child than someone that has went through it. My heart breaks. I cry. I'm sad.
But here are the fun times. Preslee is starting to roll over. She is also starting to cut teeth. It has been fun watching her lay on the blankets and roll around and kick and play. She is getting to the point that she likes to "play" with toys.
We added her crib toy that is like the water with glowing lights. It's so cute and she loves it.
She is also starting to eat baby food and have some fruit/vegetable purees, I can't believe she is getting so big honestly.
Now the husband...I love him with all my heart. I feel like I fight to find time to spend with him. He's absolutely amazing. He works 6 days a week for about a month now to provide/support our family. But then there is me in the background that wants alone time. Time for us. That may sound selfish but I don't feel like I get enough time with him. It breaks me down and makes me cry! I hate it! But I guess in its own timing it will all work out!
A hard time trying to figure out how to manage it all and make it all work as I want it...
I've come to the point that I just want to give up because it seems so much easier...
The easy way out! But honestly that's not what I want. I feel like everything is fighting against me and everything is killing me inside currently.
Well...My kiddos are great.
Triton is also doing well. He will be 4 in June and we are starting to plan his birthday party. We are going to do it down at New Mannford Ramp (where we got married) and have a jupiter jump thing and just have fun. It will be alot of fun and I can participate in the fun times this go around.
Then I miss my sweet baby, Skylar. I do look at Preslee and I think "gosh what would Skylar be like at this point. She would have been 14 months old." What would she look like? Would she look like Preslee and look like her Daddy? Would she look like me? Would she be walking/talking? All those little things that some people take for granted. People may think that I'm crazy but I try and spend as much time with my little angel as I can. No one realizes the loss of a child than someone that has went through it. My heart breaks. I cry. I'm sad.
But here are the fun times. Preslee is starting to roll over. She is also starting to cut teeth. It has been fun watching her lay on the blankets and roll around and kick and play. She is getting to the point that she likes to "play" with toys.
We added her crib toy that is like the water with glowing lights. It's so cute and she loves it.
She is also starting to eat baby food and have some fruit/vegetable purees, I can't believe she is getting so big honestly.
Now the husband...I love him with all my heart. I feel like I fight to find time to spend with him. He's absolutely amazing. He works 6 days a week for about a month now to provide/support our family. But then there is me in the background that wants alone time. Time for us. That may sound selfish but I don't feel like I get enough time with him. It breaks me down and makes me cry! I hate it! But I guess in its own timing it will all work out!
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