It's Been Awhile...

Like each and everyone of my posts they are so few and far between...But I get so side tracked with work and the home life that I forget to get on here. Our wedding anniversary come and we had an AMAZING time at the bed & breakfast and have decided that is what we want to do yearly for our anniversary. Like a new tradition we are setting up for our marriage! The place was amazing. We had the whole 21 acreas of property to ourselves. We went paddle boating, fishing, walking around, and just enjoying the time away from every day life. I had picked up a small cake for us and also some chocolate covered strawberries. We did have alot of fun and it was well worth it. If anyone is interested their site is www.serenitylake.com

Memorial day is approaching and we are going to go out and visit Skylar and I am wanting to go to Wagoner and visit my Papa's grave. Albert said he is going to make the trip to Wagoner with me! Sitting her thinking I can't believe it has been almost a year and a half since Skylar was born. Its just crazy. Then I sit here and think that it has been almost a 3 and half years since my Dad died. Sure doesn't seem that long but it's overwhelming. I was just sitting her listening to the song Far Away that was played at my Dad's and Skylar's funeral and it's just overwhelming how memories just come flooding back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4y-RzVGrHg 

The good, the bad, and the ugly but they all have so much joy. The other night Albert and I were painting our bedroom and we sat down in the floor and the conversation turned to my Dad. About his accident and about how I absolutely HATE motorcycles. They are so dangerous and stupid honestly. Don't get me started on that subject. But it was just memories about my Dad that I miss...Just the simple words of "Sis" coming out of his mouth telling me something. Whether it was him being angry with me for something I did or him just wanting to tell me/ask me something. Sometimes people take for granted the smallest things in life. Just words are so much when you lose someone, sometimes that all you have to hold onto.

Then I think about Skylar and think about the few precious hours we had with our sweet baby. Taking pictures and just feeling every inch of her body. Holding her, crying the tears of sadness, and just realizing that your baby that you have wanted so much is just sitting in your arms lifeless. It's just so much to take in and sometimes its overwhelming for one person!

Alot of people tell me they understand - which some do - some don't. You never know how a mother feels to lose a baby until it happens to you! It just rips your heart completely out and you long for that baby. It's never right and you miss them with everything in you and wish you could bring them back.

On a lighter note - I moved here 2 years ago in May 2009 and we have been wanting to paint the house. My father in law and my husband lived here before me and my father in law was a smoker (still is) but the house had the nicotine walls and the yellow streaks. Well we are now (finally) in the process of painting. We have HAD the paint since before I moved out here it's just been alot going on since we got together just haven't really had the time. Now we are making the time. We have now completed 2 rooms - our master bathroom (fully completed - black & white) and our bedroom walls have been painted (now I need to buy the black & white comforter) and we will be rocking! :)

We are just working out way out and hoping this weekend to complete the living room since it's the next room off our bedroom. Not sure on the colors of the living room probably keep them what we have - dark brown (furniture) and then the off white colors also! I'm so excited to be painting and finally making the house look much better! :) Facebook is where I'm uploading the before and after pictures. Such a transformation.

I'm going to try and go to MEND tomorrow night. I went in March and then April just completely slipped by me - I don't know how I missed it because I was really wanting to go. Everything is set up for me to go. Baby sitter and all...So just depends on how I feel after work tomorrow.